Damned if you do, damned if you don’t

by mollykl

So, no, this isn’t going to be sexist rant about men, but have you ever noticed….?

Well, in the first place, have you ever cocked an eyebrow at a guy who announces he hates kids and is never having them?

What about a guy who returns to work promptly after the birth of his child and works 40+ hour weeks?

A guy who makes time for his friends, his hobbies, the things that make him “him”?

No, you probably don’t. I don’t. I had a friend at work today tell me how much he hates kids and all I did is laugh and say, “Well, then I’m never letting you watch son j.” I have plenty of female friends who also hate children and are never having them (and some who actually like children…when they’re someone else’s, but they’re still not having them). Having been in the “I hate kids” camp I understand and don’t drag out the “you’ll regret it later” line (which I had heard, is condescending, and you’re an asshole).

Which bring me to this: you’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t.

No matter what decision you make, kids / no kids, stay at home/ work outside, if you’re female you’re going to be judged for it. If you’re male, well, then apparently you get a free pass.

But, damn, we women get screwed on this. We’re judged by society but mostly we’re judged by the one group who should understand and be accepting – other women. Instead we draw battle lines. Whatever I say isn’t going to change anyone’s mind. All I’m saying is: you might want to figure out why you’re invested in this fight.

 

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