Why?

by mollykl

I started this blog in February of 2009. Just about to finish grad school I was desperate to write something, anything! that didn’t have to do with system analysis or the Library of Congress classification schedule. I’d just built a website for a school assignment and husband J suggested that I start a blog. Since I fancy myself rather humourous I thought that would be a good idea.

Flash forward to 2014 and a couple of realizations:

1. Why don’t I just keep a journal? Because writing for a perceived audience keeps me more honest. I can lie to myself like nobody’s business, but knowing that what I write might be read (notice I said, “might be”) puts me on a leash.

2. Blogging is a self-indulgence. I’m going to go ahead and piss of some people by saying that 99.9%of the time it’s not real writing, not just mine but everyone’s. Writing contributes to the world, blogging contributes to one person’s ego.

3. I need to keep my audience in mind, but never, and I repeat never, write to them. I’ve done that a couple of times, and you know what? It haunts me. I feel like I betrayed myself.

4. Write what I want and if I want to pull my punches that’s my right to do so.

I started this blog to write and to have a reason to write something, anything, so long as words were making it on to paper (metaphorically). When I was writing and posting the most prolifically that was carrying over into writing more in ‘real life’ – poetry and stories. So, it seems, writing begets writing.  Once I’d tapered off blogging, so did the other writing. I don’t want to quit my job and be a full-time writer. I actually like the job I have (which has nothing to do with writing unless you count the snarky emails to the IT department), but I do like being able to write because it engages me, makes me think, and forces me to be creative. if writing a blog post will push that along, then so be it.

Here’s what I know now: I’m not a writer. I don’t have to write. Real writers have to write, and I just don’t.  I like to yes, but I don’t have to. But that doesn’t mean I can’t do it to enjoy it. And possibly make you laugh in the meantime.

Advertisements