Hi, I’m a mom
I am not the most maternal person in the world. I actually don’t really like kids, and I speak to my own as if he were a grown up (and am then frustrated when he behaves like, well, a child). But none the less, I’m a mom. I’m not even a hipster mom. Just a mom. Here’s how you can tell if you are either a. a mom, or b. mom-like:
1. You get really excited about stain remover that actually works.
2. An afternoon house cleaning while your husband takes your son someplace is a vacation.
3. Staying out till midnight does you in for the next day.
4. You buy baking soda, laundry detergent and hydrogen peroxide in bulk.
5. You have band-aids.
6. Your “sexy” dress still only hits at the knee, and of course you’re still wearing a bra and panties underneath.
7. You have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to cleaning.
8. When your sick co-worker insists that he doesn’t want a gingerale you give him one anyway telling him it will make him feel better. You then have to be reminded that he’s 26 and not your kid.
9. You have artwork on your walls that you know will someday be worth millions and on display in the MOMA.
10. You can spend hours on the floor playing legos.