So what’s your definition of success?

by mollykl

Oy. What a week. Due to a family emergency I was in charge this week. Since being “in charge” is what I’ve wanted (albeit not in these circumstances!) I knew I could handle it, did my job, and worried about my boss. Despite a few bumps in the road (woo-hoo! had to make 200 tags on ad day!) everything went well. I proved to myself that I could in fact do the job.

On tuesday NaNoWrimo started. The night before I was supposed to start writing 50,00 words I decided that the story I’d wanted to work on, the story that I spent the last 6 months researching, the story that I’ve been plotting out and outlining, was…stupid. And I needed to come up with something different. How did I come to this conclusion? Well, husband J and I went out to dinner and I told him my ideas and the look on his face pretty much told me that I was off in a land where people just didn’t visit. So I thought I’d better start over.

But on tuesday I sat down at the computer and just started writing. The first sentence and then the second and then the third and I realized that, damn!, this is an amazing story, and I’m going to be the one to write it.

On thursday I had to work in son J’s class. I was terrified. I don’t do well with children. For one thing I’m always worried that I’ll swear, or say, “Oh for god’s sake act like an adult.” I’ve been stressing out over this ever since I filled out the volunteer form. It went great! I had a lot of fun and I think they did too. And hanging out with the class I realized that son J, while having problems, is just having normal 5 year old boy problems. I’m not the awful parent I thought I was, in fact, I kind of rock (just a little).

Today as I was leaving I noticed a co-worker training in another department. I went up to him and said, “Please tell me they didn’t suck you in!” And then I threw an arm around his trainer, a guy I’ve actually threatened to kill on occasion for messing up his tags, and said, “Whatever you do, DON’T listen to him. You want to know about your tags, come talk to me.”  I  laughed and started teasing both them.

Then the miraculous happened. My co-worker smiled and then laughed. I haven’t seen him smile, at all, since a family member of his was in a horrible accident, which is understandable. Every day I say “hi” and smile and just try to be nice, not knowing what else to do. Today he smiled and laughed.

And that’s my definition of success. That’s what I’m proudest of this week, that I made someone smile.

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