Job hunting

by mollykl

Since our Mideast peace envoy, George Mitchell, is resigning, it looks like there’s a job available. I would be perfect for the position and have started working on my cover letter.

Dear President Obama,

Thank you for considering me for the position of Mideast Peace Envoy. I look forward to meeting with you in person and discussing this exciting and challenging opportunity.  

Allow me to summarize my qualifications. Please note that a full resume, CV and references are available. 

Having worked  for over twenty years in a customer service capacity I am fully versed in delicately balancing the needs and wants of the public. Additionally, my time spent as part of the grocery team has allowed me to jump into any needed area and perform, regardless of the pressure  or the environment. Being part of a team also means dealing with varying opinions, viewpoints and, sometimes, tempers. I have managed to walk the fine line between category manager and line representative, grocery manager and stock crew manager and store director/owner and department manager. 

Furthermore, I am the mother to a precocious 4 1/2 year old boy. As a parent yourself I’m sure I do not have to explain to you how much dealing with children, the good and the bad, prepares you for dealing with the rest of the world in a way no other job ever can. 

I would bring a fresh viewpoint to the current Israel/Palestine discussion, and a no-nonsense attitude back to the position of peace envoy. 

I look forward to speaking with you, and am available at your convenience.